OUCH

ouch, that hurts boy.

I went looking for my bed at seven o'clock in the morning. I left every thought of you, every tear, every little rotten part of my body that feels in the empty shot glasses of tequila at the bar. My head is so confused, and now it feels so heavy. The past few months they weigh on me and are pulling me down. How can something that seemed so real, be so fucking not real. Secretly, I have known. I am a dumb blonde in love, a retard that is totally retarted for you.

How much I want to bury myself and wait. Just wait until I get what I want and what I deserve.

There are plenty of men behind me, interesting enough to have fun with it, sturdy enough to dance. But none is good enough, no one can meet the standard that I want. The standard that he took with ease.

I'm hard and see myself as unattainable. I feel alone, I and my sick mind who always looks for the most painful situations. I want someone who feels how I feel, who can handle me in my hard wild storms and the calm loving moments.

I want to smoke, drink, dance, make heads explode and enjoy playing this life. I will be someone who can not be denied, my name will be much discussed. Because I'm not like most people, I'm totally different. I am lonely because I'm so alone but I'm fucking proud that I am the last and only one of my kind.