I'm not liking this anymore.

-For I am the biggest retard.-

Alone I sit in my sofa, watching a scary movie. I miss him, this is what we did, it hurts me. I still can't believe how things have gone. I miss a void, I miss something that never has been real. When I think back, it feels different I find myself getting stronger everyday. But love, broken love is still there. I still have no idea, how will I heal my wounds? How do I straighten myself in this crazy world? How do I restore my confidence? My heart is so big and my love never seems to go away.

I find it strange how things toss, how young lives can be destroyed only by emotional wars. To die of a broken heart is like dying of hunger, you keep craving and you never stop searching.

I am clear in my head and today I bought the most expensive but beautiful coat in the shop. Just cheering myself up with material things I guess ... I am speechless and broken.