Babbling these lonely nights away

Today was the last day of the stressful week, so to celebrate a good friend of mine treated me cigarettes and hot chocolate. As usual I had a mouthful to say and the hours flew by. The wise words that filled my ears, my eyes were opened and my tongue was dry. But the doubt swirls in my head and I don't know how to handle myself around the problem.

This is the problem, I want to bite his ears and put naughty words on his tongue. But I don't know if his tongue is trustworthy, and the eternal doubt and uncertainty makes me vomit all his saliva. I've been lying here for days now, crawling, tossing and turning, crying .. drenched in my own blood. The masochist in me is eager to make use of all tortures. But the little blond girl in me cries out for attention, screaming for his affectionate words. He seems unreachable and grumpy, he seems reluctant to share his tongue.He looks dead and I think I now know that I just made the last attempt. I think I should let it go, and maybe he'll be crawling back, licking my toes making me giggle. I can't stop smiling, and I'm making a wish secretly, secretly I yearn. And one day I'll get what I want, and as little girls do, I'll be licking, kissing, cuddling and loving it for as long as I feel these weird things I feel.

I'm a real weeper for love and a whore for art, but I never find what I seek, and when I do they don't see my invisible me. I won't be chasing you no longer, I've started running so come catch me if you can...

I'm so babbling this night away, I'm just so not me at the moment. Oh what a shame I'm just talking to myself again. I guess I'll just have to satisfy myself if they ain't comin' around.

So here's my goodbye, my see you lator ... and I would have blown you a kiss but you just don't deserve any.