and another lost day

-the stray cat and I, in my younger years.-

Pole dancing was a setback, nothing wanted to happen and I was very frustrated. But it made me laugh, and I feel like I've been able to soothe my mind. I'm still being ignored by him, but I understand that it is his turn. Since I've done the same to him, I've gotta suck it up.

Then problem number one of the week, I call him sir nothing. I feel like a bird in an ugly and rusty cage. He always wants his arms around me, and he crawls on his knees for my love. He does not see that my heart will never be able to love him again. And I would not hurt him, and try to offer my friendship, but it asks too much of me. I have a lot to offer, but nothing I want to give to him.

He's sorry, but sorry is too late. And I'm long over everything we had, and I will not look back. I thank you for being there, but you can't help me.

besides all black days, there are some changes. I went back on a solid diet, and I'm going to work harder on myself. I often feel like some fat chick. And I think if I would eat more healthy food, that thought will quickly disappear. Healthy body, healthy mind!