These words have been burning on my lips for weeks, so here they come...
This year has been a rollercoaster of bleeding fists, broken hearts and broken bones. And on the way there have been many who have cared for me, many who have mistreated me and some that broke my heart. I felt like I was standing on an edge, a depth that to me was invincible. Looking at the scars that I have to drag through my life, licking the wounds that are still healing. After all the blood that I've wasted I know better ..
I voluntarily and knowingly bombed and destroyed many of my bridges . I spewed out all the vultures and rats in my life. I refused to be their victim of superficial torture. I have brought this evil on myself and now their eyes kill me. But it's okay, they don't know me so it's okay.
I survive this life thanks my dad who means the world to me, my father grabbed me at my lowest and pulled me up. My father usually has no idea what I'm talking about, but .. he always knows when I need to be saved. No other in this life has burned his hands so hard by stabbing them in to the fire for me. I know I maybe don't tell you often enough how much you mean to me but dad you are my hero, I would amputate every part of me with a blunt knife for you. My gratitude is more than words can describe, I know at times I'm difficult, I know I'm demanding ..and most of the time a pain in the ass but I am so grateful I'm you're daughter. I love you and I'm so proud of you ( you know why ).
I survive this life thanks to friends who are still around, even those I hardly see and the ones I hardly speak with.
You guys ... It's hard to analyze up to you to separate people. You guys are my fucking world, my friends who never left me hanging. Guys what can I say. Hours you listen to my complaining, you catch me when I fall, you defend me when I get fists on my face. You guys mean a lot to me, you guys are the best friends a little blonde girl could wish for. I don't know how to express myself without you guys making fun of me, haha ... You are no mealy, corny boys so it's hard saying sweet thing to you. But you know one for all and all for one. I hope this can stay this way forever.
The ex, you have torn me apart and broken my heart and put me through hell, but you are forgiven you are a friend now and I won't look back. I just won't care anymore 'cause you have shown me that you still got my back after all the shit we went through.
The guy I used to live with, You know who you are.. (and if you don't then oopsydaisy) you were there every day when my world collapsed, I've often thought of you anything but a true friend. But I now know that not everyone screams as loud as me. And I'm grateful for your wise words that filled my ears when I was sitting in the living room crying, and although we don't hear or see eachother as often as before, I will never forget what you've done for me. In my heart you are a friend and always will be.
The girl who lives in my block with the long black hairs you're unbelievable, you're like my other half sometimes. The love I have for you, I cherish you as a sister. We have cried a thousand tears togheter,we have had dark days and didn't know how to fix our terrible state of mind. You gave me the most beautiful summer, and since you are in my life I feel like I will never be alone. It doens't matter how hard I'm screaming and banging my fists through the wall you never seem to walk away from me, you embrace my defects you hug me and then you always say it's all gonna be okay... you make me calm, you reassures me. Thank you for everything.
Little miss vixen. You are the most valuable asset in my life, to meet you again was the best thing that happened to me. You're the rock in my life, you were my salvation. Without you I would have rotted away a long time ago. I was ready to jump but you ruined the morbid thoughts being a huge cushion that broke my fall. You make every day better when you're around, you make me happy and strong. You make me feel like I can do anything, thank you my love.
All the people I've met this year, I've rediscovered my life and I'm so grateful. You know who you are. I'm grateful for all the support I get from unexpected quarters. I'm always surprised by the unconditional love I get from people I barely know. The listening ear that they offer and how they always show me that I am doing well. I ask no forgiveness for my sins, and I'm grateful for everything that happened. I will keep dancing on the dirty rock'n'roll that licks my ears and I know my destiny in this life. I'm a wild one and will always remain a wild one. This little blond retard hopes she has chosen the right words to tell everybody how much she appreciates that you're here. Yes I'm not good at this stuff ... I don't want to forget anybody, but I probably did...
PS: I like you coming over here so I'll hope the conversations are even better .. blablabla yeah damn crap hahaha I'm gonna shut up.
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